It felt like a punch in the gut. All the positive momentum hit with the inevitable news and the crash was all the more forceful for it.
The day before the 2nd class of our Autumn Sessions, my youngest daughter woke up with a fever. I tracked down a Covid test and wasn’t surprised by the pink and blue lines staring back at me. It was official. Life was cancelled for the next two weeks and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt wrecked. I felt silly and I felt helpless. All the excitement and the eagerness to go into the next day’s class were met with a screeching halt.
I have been learning new things about myself since starting this business. For one, I am super analytical and am best not left alone to my own thoughts sometimes ha ha. I am also a recovering perfectionist. So when my vision and what actually is don’t match up, I’m just not satisfied. So after sending out the word that class was cancelled, I just felt like a failure. Who knows why. It was out of my control. But I did. I felt like I dropped the ball and everyone and every kid that was counting on me felt it. I was bummed.
However, the more I dug into my feelings I began to realize that there was a reason for this and I had the choice to make the most of it. So through the nursing of my daughter I pushed through the resistance and tried to see the light. I spent some time in the garden rearranging and thinking about the future instead of the past. I made some personal decisions about myself and quickly implemented that changes. I grew, I’m growing.
I also realized I don’t share enough, if any, of my true vision for Artphoria. I have a huge heart to serve, give, connect, collaborate, inspire, teach, invite and love this community. The vessels I chose to do this with are gardening and art. I want to be more than just an art studio, more than garden classes. I want to cultivate caring. Caring for ourselves in our creativity, caring for one another as we learn from across ages, and caring for our Earth that nourishes and heals us as we are willing to receive. I want to see other women pursue their passions and help them to do it. I want our kids to see us all as we work together in collaboration not competition and to be inspired to live the same. I want a lot and I’m just wild enough to believe it can happen. In fact it is happening slowly, gradually, it is happening. I am grateful for the first fruits of this work and I am eagerly expectant for the fruits to come!
I share all this to say, hello, this is me really. A silly girl with a few dreams I’d like to see come true for us all.
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